NES games in less than 3 sentences.

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Profanity and bad opinions ahead!

Back to the Future (1985)

A good arcade-type game that has nothing to do with Back to the Future

Yo! Noid (1990)

It has The Noid, what more could you want??

Totally Rad (1991)

I feel like all of Jaleco's side-scrollers are one step away from being great.

Gauntlet (1987)

Such a nostalgic one, go play this with your dad or something. The first NES game I played on actual hardware.

Tetris (1989)

The perfect video game, although I never want to play it.

Pinbot (1990)

Would benefit greatly by having better music and a bigger board.

Rockin' Kats (1990)

Any cheapness is made up for with gallons of charm and amusingly bad translation.

Monster in my Pocket (1992)

A cool but flawed game, a nice rock n' roll soundtrack though.

3D World Runner (1987)

Polished and lively, an impressive release for it's time.

Legacy of the Wizard (1989)

The ultimate side-scrolling exploring game, such a good romp.

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (1987)

A perfect game.

Lunar Pool (1985)

The only game of pool I'll ever play.

Balloon Fight (1984)

The better Joust.

Ms. Pac-Man (Tengen) (1990)

One of the best Pac-Man experiences, hands down. Pac-Booster and multiplayer all the way.

Mario Bros. (1986)

Just play the GBA version instead. The inability to change direction while jumping is a major handicap.

Astyanax (1989)

Would be 10 times better without the ENEMY RESPAWNING hoppity CHRIST

Menace Beach (1990)

Flawed 90's bliss.

Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom (1984)

Such a charming game, great art and characters.

Magic Carpet 1001 (1991)

My favourite shooter.

Whomp 'Em (1991)

Ears bleeding? Yes please!!

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1991)


Blaster Master (1988)

Would be one of my favorites if it wasn’t for the weird way enemies show up while the screen scrolls.

Alfred Chicken (1994)

Alfred Chicken can KICK MARIO'S ASS, prove me wrong.

Paperboy (1985)

This is a classic??? It stinks!

Popeye (1982)

Has graphics almost comparable to Atari. Gameplay is alright.

Mega Man 2 (1990)

The classic.

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom (1987)

Initially beat Space Mountain with input lag and I can now pick flies out of the air with chopsticks.

Super Mario Bros 3 (1990)

I mean I GUESS...

Jaws (1987)

A good game to turn your mind off to. The most average game in the world.

Milon's Secret Castle (1986)

I mean..I’m sure it’s fun with a guide...

Home Alone (1991)

Forget everything you've heard about this game and play it.

Crystalis (1990)

Better than Zelda. Better than Zelda. Better than Zelda.

Super Mario Bros (1990)

The hoop on a stick of platformers. It changed everything and was the first of it's kind, but's alright.

Rainbow Islands (1988)

The most difficult and confused fun you will ever have.

The Incredible Crash Dummies (1994)

Might be an acquired taste, but God it's so fun. What's probably most notable is the incredible Follin-composed music.

Peter Pan & the Pirates (1989)

A bad game I enjoy. Play through as much as you can just for the experience.

Summer Carnival '92: Recca (1992)


Shatterhand (1991)

Controls, graphics, music, Jesus. Wish they kept the carnival stage though.

Mickey Mousecapades (1987)

A hack removing Minnie is something I think we all need instead.

Captain Comic (1989)

I would LOVE this if there was post hit invincibility and the ability to crouch while shooting.

Tom & Jerry (1991)


Super Mario Bros 2 (1988)

I don’t CARE that it’s "not the real Mario 2", it’s fun!!!

The Krion Conquest (1990)

Nice try.

Smash TV (1991)


Spot: The Game (1990)

An extremely solid strategy game. My complete inability to win does not falter my love for it!

Action 52 (1991)

Awful, but Haunted Hill makes it worth it.

Rollerball (1988)

The best pinball game on the system. The physics, graphics and music are on point.

Rocky and Bullwinkle (1992)

Heinous in controls, graphics, and especially music. One of the worst.